MILK

I cannot decide about James Franco. In real life he does these wretchedly embarrassing paintings that are...hmm like if you quickly had to  show someone what Basquiat's paintings look like but only had craft markers and you yourself were very lame (I mean why would you even be in that situation to begin with?). I could find his paintings amusing if that was the work's manifesto:

"These works are what someone would make to show a vague and juvinille rendering of Basquiat's paintings a la community college."

The doozie of it is, Basquiat sucks too.

It bothered me that Emile Hersh's hoodie was obv American Apparel and not vintage from the time. Also his wig was deep from the floor of the thrift store, under a few Gene Loves Jezebel cassette tapes, Jackson Brown LPs, a pair of light wash Faded Glorys, and a Roseanne blanket that has spagetti-O's stains all over it. But I like that type of thing. That kind of wig. Especially on a man. But to call that tinkerbell a man is generous. I saw him in person once and he MAYBE comes up to my arm pit. Also he was wearing complete Dr. Phil-on-the-weekend-running shoes. DB. Sean Penn had a Levis denim jacket that was perfection though. I cried at least twice during this movie. Also, wtf was up with the hosehound that sat right next to me in the theater??? (I was alone). It was not a sold out show. Step off!

RACHEL GETTING MARRIED


What is up with Anne Hathaway "dating" that weird billionaire and then testifying against him for like money laundering or some shit??? That guy looks like if they made a muppet of Balkey Bartakamouse. She is such a lesbian its not even funny. Speaking of lez, who watches The L Word? I just finished the 5th season on DVD and like what the fuck? Why is my fav character, Max Sweeney, fucking that gay dude? And why is Max never on the gd show? Max and Shane need their own show called "Wo(men) Being Awesome". Pitch that STAT. Sorry. I bet nobody watches this piece of shit. ANYWAY.

What I really want to know is, why is Havoc off limits? There was some Marie Clare interview with Hath where they asked her about her image and why is it so innocent, and her reply was telling them her fav song is "Fuck the Pain Away" by Peaches* so how innocent can she be. AYS! (Are you serious!). Were they PRETENDING to not know about Havoc or were they baiting her to talk about it? Her performance in Rachel Getting Married is outstanding (yeah, I'm being serious, its like really good) but it is no Havoc, fucking A. Freddy Rod, who is the male lead in Havoc, comes to my place of buisness sometimes and every fucking time I completely biff on praising his performance. I was telling Lolo this and he told me not to bring it up to Freddy, that he would get pissed. SILENCE=DEATH, whatever! They are the ones who were in this thing, what am I supposed to do? Not love it? You know when you go to work in the morning, whether you love or hate your job, you  get up, get ready and start preparing yourself for the day. You get dressed. Maybe you eat something. (You should). You travel to your job and on the way think at least somewhat about what the day might hold. I don't know how long Havoc was in production for, but that is what each and every cast and crew member went through on their way to work, their work being making that outrageous film. Think about it.

*Lesbian

Thing I Hate of the Day


Fluevog shoes. Heinous. For when rockabilly chicks get fat.



Looks great with a lunchbox as a purse and matching colored hair!

Look at this one! Dykes on bikes WHAT!


Thing I Love of the Day



Dudes with bangs.

I was looking on Google for a picture of one of those dolls that are handmade out of a skin-tone nylon pantyhose and are stuffed with like cotton or something. The face always looks like a potato that has very small, sunken in eyes. The reason i was looking for this is because I wanted to put a picture of one on my best friend's myspace comments section as an inside joke, because her ex-boyfriend looks EXFFUCKINGZACTLY like one of those dolls. I can't even believe this motherfucker can SEE, his eyes are so deep inside his face I'm surprised there is room for a brain. Hmmm...
Seriously, his eyes are smaller than this


ANYWAY. I don't know what those dolls are called. I mean, what the fuck, why would I? But I did find THIS:


UHwhatthehell? Its hugging a bunch of hair. Some arkansas craft mom is on some next-lev high art tip. I really do not understand why this type of stuff is not covered in Artforum. Their loss once I open my museum called The Real Museum which will feature this picture, screenings of Havoc and The Real Cancun, and drawings only done by teens and meth addicts.

Didn't know my friend's ex-bf had a gangster ass scoot. Sick piece bro.

PS Nice feet. Don't you think you should put some shoes on if yr gonna be shredding the streetz with that thing? Or are you all Jamie Thomas 1997?

Last night scott and I drank a sparks on the train and went to see some bands in Pilsen. I was wasted before we even got there. The first band was called Drunk Driver, I guess people like them cos they are from Brooklyn, as if there are only cool people that live there. What the fuck ever.  Whatev, maybe i just have the midwest shoulder-chip. They were a hardcore band that I wouldve been bored by in the 90's but since seeing a real live hc band now is so novel I was into it. I was into the chick shredding some mild chedder on guitar. Was not into the singer's brand new, too small Death in June shirt. Total mass produced Ebay vibe.

Waited for the bus with a prostitute and passed around a can of Milwaukee's Best with her til the bus came. The beer was provided by her. That would be a cooler story if Scott didn't actually know this person beforehand. Or wait, would it?

Today is the biggest sloth out of all time. Seriously, listen to what i have done today: woke up, walked to Chinese Buffett, went home, and have been laying around watching L Words and reading steve albini interviews. Speaking of, here is the funniset thing I have ever read. It is a quote from him about Jack White possibly working on the Stooges record with him:

One rumor that's been following the project is that Jack White will play on the disc or produce it, but Albini has heard nothing either way. "I really have no idea. . . . There may be a point where an Edwardian carriage pulls up in front of the studio and Jack White and his footmen step out," he says. "By the way, I've never used the word 'footmen' in conversation before."

If I hear one more discussion about "hipsters" I am going to throw myself into the line of fire at the next Indy 500. For those of you that do not know, when the word "hipster' is used (these days) what the person is meaning to say is "young person". Up until recently you COULD plausibly draft a crude timeline of "real" hipsters dating back to early jazz/bohemia up to the mid-90's. 

There are no hipsters. I'm not kidding. There are college students buying clothes that are available to them that everyone else on the goddamn planet is wearing. Then they party, and take pictures of themselves. How different is that than any other group of young people that ever was? So the internet is huge, which gives the "phenomenon" a visibility that other generations didn't have. And thank effing god. I looked and acted like the biggest queef on earth when I was early in college and partying and shit. ANYWAY, who cares? NO RULES.



Here is a fun game to play with a friend when you're out on the street and spot someone in the distance:

Hipster of Foreigner?
Hipster or Bum?
Hipster or Beautician?

 SO! This beast better treat me well. I was trying to blog through Uber, but fuck them. That blog was called Pure Wizard, and I wanted to call this hot zone "Wizard Blood" but some obviously awesome individual already has it! What! I mean whatever, this was originally going to be called Lizardblood but my friend thought i said Wizardblood, which I know is really cool. "Wizard" is an important word in my life but oh fuckin well. 

ANYEFFINGWAY.

Check this shit on the reg. I have a feeling this SOB will be easier to use than my last one and I will actually WANT to write again. 

Welcome to the Ultra Zone.